Theory of a Heart
by Sparanda
Summary: Why? Why is it they say I don't have a heart? Why didn't she have a heart? If I don't have a heart, how is it I can love someone so much... even though I have no idea who she is? Roxas-centric ONESHOT Spoilers for 358/2 Days


This will be the first oneshot I've done in… 3-5 years. I can't even remember since the ones on my profile are re-uploaded from many years back. I got the idea for this one while playing my 2nd time through _KH: 358/2 Days_. I was like: Holy crap, that's an awesome idea for a oneshot. Besides, I always thought it was true anyway.

Story will be mainly first person Roxas.

Disclaimer: I own no characters depicted here. Also, the storyline isn't mine either since this will follow almost completely with the actual game.

* * *

I suppose I should be unconscious right now, what with Riku and that creepy bandage guy looming over my unmoving body. I'm out like a light, but somehow still able to hear and think. Right about now, I wish I wasn't able to.

"DiZ…" Riku began. Who was DiZ? The bandage guy? "He could feel Sora."

Sora. That was a name I recognized all too easily. He was the bane of my existence… and the reason I do exist.

Yes, I realize I'm technically and a Nobody and therefore I don't really exist… but then…

"Oh, he told you how he 'felt,' did he?" DiZ said. He had a rather deep, overpowering voice. He also sounded like a stuck-up snob… kinda like Saïx. "Ridiculous." Yeah, exactly like Saïx. "A Nobody cannot feel anything." Then why do I…? "If he had met Sora, things might have been different."

If I had met Sora…

Wait.

If I'm Sora's Nobody, which is probably true at this point, then why does Sora still exist? The Organization told me Nobodies come from people who have lost their heart. If…. Sorry, this is way too complicated for me.

Wait, who's talking to me? It sounds like… _her_. I can't remember her name, but I know it's her.

"Roxas, don't be sad," the female voice said. I'm not sad. "I came from you and Sora. I am you… the same way that I am Sora. You'll forget me, but the memories themselves will never go away. Memories of you and me will always be together... forever, inside him."

I don't want to forget you….

Riku's picking up my body now. Why hasn't he changed back to his earlier form? Is he stuck that way? Or does he think I might still attack him? As if I could.

Great, now I'm starting to sound like Xigbar. Just my luck.

And there's Luxord.

It seems like I'm acting like the people I've been spending time around. I don't know why. Wait a minute; Riku and DiZ are talking again. We're in some kind of lab with a fancy-looking computer.

"So this will help get Sora's memories out of him?" Riku asked as DiZ plucked away at the keyboard.

"Yes," DiZ answered simply. "It will prevent the Organization from finding him while Naminé takes apart his and the girl's memories and puts them back into Sora. I must admit; all these set-backs with the girl were unexpected, but now we are back on track. Riku, place him in the light."

Riku nodded and made to move me, but he stopped a few inches short. "DiZ, what's this?" he asked. He bent over me and picked something up from inside my coat. It looked like… "A diary?" Riku asked.

DiZ turned towards us. His face (as far as I could tell) looked puzzled. "That's impossible," he said almost immediately. "It must be… but it can't."

Riku opened the diary and read the first entry aloud:

"'_Who am I? Why am I? All of these people say I'm part of this Organization, but I don't understand what our Organization is about. They said something about hearts, I think. But I… I just don't understand what that means. What is a heart? Why do we need them?_

_- ?'"_

"'Her?'" Riku repeated. "You don't think-"

"I think that's exactly right," DiZ interrupted. What? What is it? They're not being clear at all. "That diary belongs to that girl. It should have disappeared along with her, but it's still here. And in his coat of all places."

"What do you think this means?" Riku asked, still leaning over my body. "And why is it signed with question marks for the name?"

"I think," DiZ began, "that because she was absorbed into Roxas, her reality became his. This diary belongs to her… and now it is his." DiZ cast a strange look at my body. "I think she originally signed her name there, but the boy can't remember her name."

There was a pause. Who do they keep talking about? Is it _her_? I remember her, everything except her name and face.

"I think Roxas does not _want_ to remember her name," DiZ finally said. Huh? "It would cause too much pain to remember such a thing, so he replaced the name with the question marks to prevent himself from finding the name."

"But how?" Riku asked. "You said yourself he couldn't feel anything. How would he feel pain?"

DiZ sighed dramatically. "I fear I have greatly underestimated this Nobody. His and Kairi's are very unique cases. Their Nobodies are here, Roxas and Naminé, and yet Sora and Kairi are still alive. I think because of that, both Sora and Roxas…"

"They… He has…"

"Yes," DiZ replied. "And her, too, because Roxas does."

I really wish they would finish their sentences. I really don't understand any of this with them being so insufferably vague about it.

"Do you think he even knew the diary was there?" Riku asked. I never knew.

"No, I do not believe so," DiZ replied.

"There's something else here," Riku said, flipping to another page. "I think you should hear it." DiZ motioned for him to read, even though he had mentioned earlier about staying on schedule.

"'_Day 352: Riku gave me this time. Axel told me to spend it thinking for myself. The Organization is determined to erase either me or Roxas. They'll never allow us to coexist. I love Roxas and Axel. I'm sure Saïx would scoff at that. Call it a trick of my artificial memories. But the time I spent on that clock tower was real. I wish the three of us could stay together, just like this, forever. But I have to end this. I'll never forget today's sunset. Even if Roxas and Axel do, I won't forget._

_- ?'"_

"She _'loved'_ them, did she?" DiZ asked haughtily. I wanted to strangle him right there. "If she loved them so much, why did attack them? Why did she disappear? She had to. She was less than a Nobody: a puppet. Enough of this, Riku. Put him in."

Even though Riku was situating my body into the machine, I took no notice. I understood what they were talking about before. That girl… she had a heart. I had- I have a heart, because of Sora. She loved me and Axel. She loved me.

There was a sudden loud noise as the computer started whirring. Something was about to happen; something big.

I suppose I really shouldn't be able to think right now, unconscious and all. But then…

I really shouldn't have been able to love either.

* * *

"Another dream about him," I muttered as I woke up. Whenever I sleep, I pretty much always have dreams. Most of the time, they're about this guy. His name is Sora. I can't remember much else, but I know I always dream about Sora.

But there are other dreams, too. About a girl about my height with black hair. I don't dream about her often; almost never, actually. It's only been a few times, but those few times, I woke up with tears running down my face. That's made me remember all this time.

A bell rings off in the distance and I open the window right next to my bed and look out. The always-setting sun is somehow bright and dull at the same time. That's why it's called Twilight Town, I suppose. Oh well, time to get dressed. I gotta meet the gang at the Usual Spot.

"Maybe," I say out loud as I run up from the sandlot, "today we'll finally hit the beach!"

I didn't really think we would. We never do. We haven't been there at all this summer, and it's almost over.

Only seven days to go, and then my summer vacation's over.

Right, Xion?

* * *

A/N: This came out a lot different than I had it planned, but I like it. I haven't ever written anything this serious. It feels weird to me, but that's probably because I usually write comedy. I tried to add a bit in here towards the beginning.

The first "diary entry" isn't in the game. I wrote it based on what Xion was probably feeling on the first day she had enough coherent thought to be able to write. The second entry comes from one of the "Secret Reports" in the game. Specifically, day 352. Big thanks to "Red Phoenixx" from GameFAQs for the Secret Report transcript. Also a big thanks to DJ Firewolf from GameFAQs for the full game transcript. It really helped.

Like I said, this was meant to _almost_ fit perfectly into the canon of the actual game. As you can tell, not much would be different. Honestly, all of this could really have happened and nothing would be different. I'd like to think Roxas and Xion actually shared some real feelings because of what I explained… which isn't canon, but still…

Thanks for taking the time to read. I hope it was… entertaining.


End file.
